There’s this person I really like for at least three years now who doesn’t even know me personally. I don’t know the reasons though on why do I still keep on thriving on that feeling. That despite knowing the fact that nothing may ever happen between us, I still dwell on my illusions.
Maybe I just want to find love.
Living for twenty years now, I still don’t know the feeling of being in love – that is if you describe love as something between two unrelated people. So following that definition, I am pushing myself to “love”, to the point that I tend to forget myself and the people around me.
Maybe I got the wrong definition of love.
To be honest, having no one makes me feel miserable. Just thinking about how I would probably end up alone makes me even sadder. Not that I’m talking about love exclusively. I also mean friends or acquitances that can listen to all my nonsense.
Maybe I’m not really looking for love.
At the end of the day, I just want someone to listen to me – whatever my relationship with them. But lately, I can’t even speak. My presence is there, with the people I can call my friends, but my mind still lingers to the love I’m looking for. Or is it love?
Maybe I’m looking for home.
Wherever I go, I still feel out of place. Regardless of the people I am with, I still feel like I am not welcome. I would walk alone on empty hallways just to get out of whatever place I have been and just to be alone.
Maybe I just want to feel home.
I don’t care if it’s the person that I like for so long now or any friend that I have – I just want to feel home. Maybe it’s not really love that is on my mind. Maybe I just want somebody who I can call my home.
I just want to find home.